we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize