yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
