marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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