I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
