You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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