Cold hands, warm shart.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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