but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
