dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
