whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
