ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
