Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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