how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
