I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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