Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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