I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
