This is not my ceiling
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
