so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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