it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You're earring is so big in my mouth
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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