The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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