We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
