Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my poor anus
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
