don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
