How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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