I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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