We won't sleep together?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
