I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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