They should really pass out barf bags in church
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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