Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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