My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
