He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
