I hate all girls vehemently.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
