I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
COCAINE IS GR8
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
