marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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