When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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