I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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