we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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