found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
