I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
