At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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