maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
