how can u be prego again
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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