hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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