yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
