It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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