I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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