Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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