You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
