Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize