okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
