So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
