His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
