it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
