Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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