Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
