Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you will always have a special place in my vag
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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