she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
