Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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