I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
