He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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