would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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