i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
